You've made the decision that YOU ARE GOING TO FORGIVE but that sh*t is TOUGH!
Here's a few tips.
Be Honest With Each Other.
FIRST, you have to be honest with YOURSELF.
This includes you accepting your role and your partner accepts and owns theirs. No making excuses for them and likewise for your own shortcomings or indiscretions.
WORK TOGETHER.
You BOTH are: TEAM MR. & MRS. "so & so", SO, act like it. You are not enemies nor are you each other's competition, so make sure your actions and thoughts reflect you being of one mind, moving towards the same goals. You are mates, not competitors.
Replace Old Habits.
Continually checking his voicemail every 15 minutes is NOT helping you. Driving by 'xyz' is NOT a good habit to continue. Picking apart your spouse is NOT a good habit to continue in the hopes of having a better relationship.
The thrill-- that high needs to be replaced with something healthy and more beneficial to your development. Try prayer. Feel anxious, talk to God. Feel confused, talk to God. Crazy thoughts pop in your head, REBUKE THEM, confusion and despair is NOT of God. Nor is acting a plum fool.
Build confidence & trust. You messed up, SO YOU WILL HAVE TO SUCK UP some insecure feelings he/she has. You may have to answer silly questions. And you will have to deal with the uncomfortable feeling of not being trusted and having many of your motives, words and deeds questions.
Know when to MOVE ON.
Beating a dead horse is not going to make it come to life. Talking about your past will not make your future brighter.
If it's relevant then feel free to discuss it. If it's not, bringing up the past experiences or hurts doesn't help the current situation because remember YOU CHOSE TO MOVE FORWARD.
You'll never see the light of today if you're still in the darkness of your past shadows.
==
Please visit us on http://facebook.com/SpiritualGuideToMarriage
Here's a few tips.
Be Honest With Each Other.
FIRST, you have to be honest with YOURSELF.
This includes you accepting your role and your partner accepts and owns theirs. No making excuses for them and likewise for your own shortcomings or indiscretions.
WORK TOGETHER.
You BOTH are: TEAM MR. & MRS. "so & so", SO, act like it. You are not enemies nor are you each other's competition, so make sure your actions and thoughts reflect you being of one mind, moving towards the same goals. You are mates, not competitors.
Replace Old Habits.
Continually checking his voicemail every 15 minutes is NOT helping you. Driving by 'xyz' is NOT a good habit to continue. Picking apart your spouse is NOT a good habit to continue in the hopes of having a better relationship.
The thrill-- that high needs to be replaced with something healthy and more beneficial to your development. Try prayer. Feel anxious, talk to God. Feel confused, talk to God. Crazy thoughts pop in your head, REBUKE THEM, confusion and despair is NOT of God. Nor is acting a plum fool.
Build confidence & trust. You messed up, SO YOU WILL HAVE TO SUCK UP some insecure feelings he/she has. You may have to answer silly questions. And you will have to deal with the uncomfortable feeling of not being trusted and having many of your motives, words and deeds questions.
Know when to MOVE ON.
Beating a dead horse is not going to make it come to life. Talking about your past will not make your future brighter.
If it's relevant then feel free to discuss it. If it's not, bringing up the past experiences or hurts doesn't help the current situation because remember YOU CHOSE TO MOVE FORWARD.
You'll never see the light of today if you're still in the darkness of your past shadows.
==
Please visit us on http://facebook.com/SpiritualGuideToMarriage
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ReplyDeleteI also have a blog: www.wendiswurlthinkaloud.blogspot.com...feel free to check it out. Appreciate the Love
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Thank you for the suggestion.
DeleteHttp://facebook.com/SpiritualGuideToMarriage