Cheated on or Betrayed and LEARNING TO FORGIVE

You've made the decision that YOU ARE GOING TO FORGIVE but that sh*t is TOUGH!

Here's a few tips.

Be Honest With Each Other.

FIRST, you have to be honest with YOURSELF.
This includes you accepting your role and your partner accepts and owns theirs.  No making excuses for them and likewise for your own shortcomings or indiscretions.

WORK TOGETHER.
You BOTH are:  TEAM MR. & MRS. "so & so", SO, act like it.  You are not enemies nor are you each other's competition, so make sure your actions and thoughts reflect you being of one mind, moving towards the same goals.  You are mates, not competitors.

Replace Old Habits.
Continually checking his voicemail every 15 minutes is NOT helping you.  Driving by 'xyz' is NOT a good habit to continue.  Picking apart your spouse is NOT a good habit to continue in the hopes of having a better relationship.

The thrill-- that high needs to be replaced with something healthy and more beneficial to your development.  Try prayer.  Feel anxious, talk to God.  Feel confused, talk to God. Crazy thoughts pop in your head, REBUKE THEM, confusion and despair is NOT of God.  Nor is acting a plum fool.

Build confidence & trust.  You messed up, SO YOU WILL HAVE TO SUCK UP some insecure feelings he/she has.  You may have to answer silly questions.  And you will have to deal with the uncomfortable feeling of not being trusted and having many of your motives, words and deeds questions.


Know when to MOVE ON.

Beating a dead horse is not going to make it come to life.  Talking about your past will not make your future brighter.

If it's relevant then feel free to discuss it.  If it's not, bringing up the past experiences or hurts doesn't help the current situation because remember YOU CHOSE TO MOVE FORWARD.


You'll never see the light of today if you're still in the darkness of your past shadows.

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In your Queendom are you a QUEEN who settled?

REMEMBER we discussed Queen Vashti & Queen Esther both being queens yet different by comparison.

Are you a queen who settled or are you a QUEEN with a king who models the KING OF KINGS?

One day my beloved says to me, in a 'you should sit down, I'm about to burst your bubble' tone, 'YOU KNOW when I open up your door, bring you something special, or other gestures, it makes women want me?"

ME:  *LAUGHTER*  Which clearly was not the response he thought.  " I'm not worried about you AND I want women & girls to see."

MY BELOVED LOOKED PUZZLED.

I filled him in on this:  I know people are watching. I KNOW WOMEN WATCH, and your actions towards me aren't meant to entice jealousy but for them to realize their worth.  If a door being opened is important to you, dont settle for a man who doesn't.

I've seen women with their children look in AMAZEMENT as he walks around the car to open my door.  THE AMAZEMENT soon turns to a face of 'searching', as one searches their memory of the times their dad has opened the door for their mommy, or has daddy ever opened the door for me.

My hope is that by our example, in our little world of people we encounter or pass by, that our actions are something to model, for yourself and towards one another.

Realize & know your worth queens.